Deidara's Past: A headcanon fanfiction
by Brachiostar
Summary: Hey! It's Brachiostar here, I wrote this AAAGGEES ago, but I keep forgetting to publish it! so here you go! Rated T for some violence I unfortunately do not own naruto :(


When recalling one's childhood you generally think of happy time, friends, family, and having lots of fun… unfortunately not everyone can say that about their childhood, because life is not like a fairy tale.

Different from what you'd expect is the fact that Deidara did not grow up in a warm household filled with a loving family. His parents considered him a mistake and that he was never supposed to have been born. However his little sister, Kisa, was the centre of attention. They basically ignored Deidara and payed attention only to Kisa. In an attempt to become noticed by his parents, Deidara became somewhat of a rebel, and started teaching himself ninjutsu (Because his parents wouldn't let him go to school). Unfortunately he didn't teach himself very well at all (he was of course only 5), though he had raw talent as a ninja which made it easy for him to pick up the basics. One day, whilst walking home he walked past the training grounds for the iwagakure explosion corps. The explosions caught his eye, and he stayed to watch them train for nearly 3 hours. He found beauty in the explosions and decided that he wanted to create them himself…So every day he went and watched the explosion corps and bit by bit began to figure out how to create explosives. By the time he was 6 ½ he had completely mastered the use of explosives along with a kinjutsu, he had acquired from a scroll, which he had stolen, read, and placed back carefully into its holder in the Tsuchikage's office. No-one even knew he had read it. Because of the kinjutsu he had acquired from the scroll, he was able to fuse explosives into the sculptures he made. Unfortunately using the kinjutsu had side effects… Within around two month of using the technique, he had grown mouths on his hands and his chest, because of course if anyone saw them they would realize that he had stolen the villages forbidden jutsu, he had to wear gloves on his hands when he was around other people.

He believed his parents were finally beginning to notice him...until that night…

11:00pm

It had been a quiet day, the kind of day that Deidara found excruciatingly boring. It was almost dark, so he was heading home, he knew his parents wouldn't be worried if he was out late, but his sister would, and he didn't want to worry her. The air was getting chilly and by the time he reached his house it was quite dark. He walked up to the dark brown sliding door and slid it open. He stepped in and closed the door quietly, since he didn't want to wake Kisa. "I'm home." He said softly because he knew his parents would still be up. He walked into the living room, which was pitch black. "Mum, Dad…?"He asked this every time and they always ignored him, but he asked it anyway. Normally his father would turn the light on and tell him to get out of his face, but he didn't that night. Deidara waited for a few more moments, but nothing…he walked over instinctively to where the light switch was and flicked it upwards. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the sudden light filling the room that had been pitch black, just a moment ago. He looked around the room, to where his parents should be sitting up reading, but they weren't there. Their chairs were empty. He looked further around the room. Suddenly his eyes widened and his heart beat went berserk. He ran shakily over to the space on the floor where his parents lay in a bloody pool of red on the floor. He took one look at the petrified faces of his parents and fell to his knees shaking. His head hurt. 'This isn't real…This isn't happening… im dreaming…'he repeated to himself as he began trying to shake his parents awake. "MOTHER!"he yelled whilst desperately trying to shake his mother back to life. Tears stung his cheeks, and ran down his face. His knees and hands (which were not covered by his gloves) were now covered in blood, but he didn't seem to notice. He saw the knife in his father's pale lifeless hand, and sudden realization hit him…suicide. This was too much. He collapsed into the pool of blood and lay there crying. After about a minute he got to his feet. He stared at his hands and realized that they were covered in blood. His parent's blood. He felt sick. He screamed at the sight of his blood covered hands and ran out of the house. His screaming had attracted some attention from the surrounding residents and about five were standing outside his front door, so when he ran outside screaming, covered in blood they were all quite taken aback. he had no idea where he was running, but his brain wasn't working properly so before he knew it he had run all the way to the other side of the village, where the Tsuchikage's office was. Without thinking he ran into the building and up the stairs. He burst into the office and stood in the doorway. The Tsuchikage hadn't been doing anything in particular…just sitting behind his big wooden desk, now staring at the new arrival in the room. The old man was very small behind the desk, so that you could just see the confused look on his face. He looked Deidara up and down, noting the blood covering his pale hands, and his bloody red knees. Deidara gasped and coughed before collapsing on the ground in front of the Tsuchikage's desk. The old man rushed over to see what was wrong with the 8 year old who was covered in blood and lying on the ground. He placed a hand on Deidara's shoulder and shook him gently, trying to wake him up, so that he could figure out what was going on. After about three minutes Deidara woke up, and attempted to tell the Tsuchikage about what had happened, but he was shaking and stuttering so much that no-one would have been able to understand him anyway… "I…found….aarrhggg….Mother….blood….dead….aahhhhhh!"And with that he put his hands over his ears and began writhing on the floor, in pain.

"What?"Onoki asked in utter confusion.

"My parents are dead…And…OH MY GOD KISA!" Deidara tried to explain and ended up trying to get to his feet again, but his knees buckled, and he fell to the ground again. "Damn it!"He yelled at no one in particular and bashed his bloody fist against the hard wooden floor.

"Who's kisa?"Onoki asked suddenly getting the picture and wondering who this Kisa was.

"My little sister, she's really pretty. But if she sees what I saw she'll be traumatized! I can't let that happen! "He replied quite quickly.

Eventually he gave up trying to get up and moved onto the idea of commando crawling across the floor to the door, unfortunately as he was almost there, Onoki stopped him, by blocking the doorway. He bent down to the pale, bloody lump of flesh lying on the floor in front of him and extended a hand to it. Deidara was unsure at first of what to do, but after a few seconds he took Onoki's hand, and the Tsuchikage helped him to his feet. With the Tsuchikage keeping him upright, he limped out the door.

"Take me to your house and ill see what I can do."The old man, who was only about his height said

"Thank you un."Deidara replied through sniffing and wiping the tears off that stuck to his cheek.

The two walked quite slowly, as it would seem to anyone walking by, however it was the fastest Deidara could walk and he was struggling to keep up with the Tsuchikage anyway, since his legs were rendered useless because of the shock. It took a while but eventually they reached his house. Suddenly regaining some strength in his leg, Deidara dashed to the door and slid it open.

"Nii-san?" He heard a soft, quiet voice from the passageway.

"Kisa! Where are you?! Ummm… what are you doing up un?" He freaked out but tried to calm himself down, so he didn't scare her.

"Nii-san…where did you go? I heard you scream and then I couldn't find you…and I can't reach the light switch so I was scared."

"I'm sorry I worried you…"He said quietly somehow feeling around the dark hallway walls and finding the lump that was Kisa sitting against the wall shivering, and putting his arms around her. "It's okay, your big brother's here. I just went to go for a walk; sorry I should have told you where I was going."

"Nii-san! You're…you…YOU'RE HANDS! They're covered in blood!"Kisa shouted at Deidara as Onoki flicked the light switch up, and the room filled with yellow light.

"Oh! Uhhh…" Deidara desperately searched for some kind of explanation. "I tripped over and cut my hands."

"Oh…is that all…Are you're mouths okay? Did they get cut?" Kisa asked

"Yeah they're fine un." He replied without thinking then realized that they had just said that in front of the Tsuchikage… He would either just think that Kisa was a nutcase or he would figure out Deidara had read that scroll, and used the kinjutsu. He looked over his shoulder to where Onoki was standing in the doorway, not paying any attention as he began to move to the living room…THE LIVING ROOM?! The thought suddenly flashed through Dei's mind and he picked up kisa and ran out the front door giving the Tsuchikage a nod before leaving him to examine his parent's bodies. "Kisa…Lets go for a walk…I think I dropped a scroll when I fell… Could you help me find it please?" He asked the little girl cradled in his arms.

"Okay…But what about father? Won't he get angry?"Kisa asked nodding.

"I think he's asleep un…"Deidara replied suddenly remembering the scene from before.

He place Kisa down onto the ground and grabbed her hand as he led her away from the house, no doubt there would be ninja appearing around the house to investigate, so he didn't want kisa to get suspicious or find out about his parents' sudden demise.

"Hey… look…It's that kid…."

"Who?"

"The blonde kid… they say he killed his parents… And that he tried to kill his sister."

"Gosh! I don't want my children around him!"

Murmurs and rumor had spread through iwagakure like wildfire in only two weeks. The rumors got to the point where everyone in the village believed Deidara had killed his parents. No-one wanted to speak to him, except his sister and a new acquaintance he had made after waiting outside the Tsuchikage's office for two hours, who 'apparently' had been 'watching him' (more like stalking) and was the Tsuchikage's granddaughter. That fact was, it stayed that way, after the accident with his parents, for the next 5 years of his life, he was completely ignored by everyone in the village, except the Tsuchikage, Kurotsuchi and his sister Kisa. Life for him went on almost as normal for those two weeks, that was what worried him…Did his parents really have this little to do with his life? Kisa didn't quite understand what the Tsuchikage had told her about her parents dying, so she just spent her days clinging onto Deidara.

_12:00 PM _

_Tsuchikage's office_

"I noticed that you didn't go to school, so I was wondering what you do with your days. What do you do all day? And why don't you go to school?" The Tsuchikage seemed to be genuinely worried about him so Deidara answered his questions.

"I don't go to school because my parents wouldn't let me go to school; I guess I should probably enroll now that they're….Anyway up till now I've spent my days training."

"Training? What for? A race? What kind of training?" The Tsuchikage asked the questions one after another.

"Yeah…When I was 5 I decided that I wanted to train as a ninja, and so every day up till a few weeks ago I trained and watched the explosion corps train, I picked up quite a lot, and taught myself the basics, like the blue stuff…(note: nobody ever taught him what chakra actually is, but he can still use it) and I learnt to create my own explosives." He replied again.

The Tsuchikage looked very surprised at that answer…He never would have picked Deidara to be the type to aspire to be a ninja, definitely not the type who could pick up something as complex as ninjutsu, simply by watching people perform it.

"So no-one's ever taught you?" He asked

"No I taught myself." Deidara replied smiling for the first time Onoki could remember since that night.

"Why don't you enroll in ninja school? I'm sure you'd be a huge success if someone carefully explained the basics to you." Onoki suggested

"I tried to…not long ago… but the ninja there all accused me of killing my parents, and said I wasn't fit to be a ninja, so did all the students…"He said suddenly looking forlorn.

Onoki thought hard on this…He figured that Deidara must be pretty smart, to figure out the basics without any knowledge whatsoever, and at the age of 5...But even if he told the ninja academy to accept him and teach him, he knew that no-one would ever really want him around…Then it hit him. He decided that it would be best if The Tsuchikage himself taught the kid; after all, he is the best in the village.

"Why don't I teach you?" Onoki said with a smile placing an arm on Deidara's shoulder

"Really?! You mean it un?!" Deidara suddenly seemed much more enthusiastic and happy

"Yes I mean it. But I warn you… I've never taught anyone before, so I might be a bit hard on you, it won't be easy training either."He warned

Deidara just grinned and nodded.

"Kisa, be a good girl and behave. These people have volunteered to look after you so be nice to them!" Deidara said patting Kisa on the head and smiling. Although inside he was dying…He wanted to continue to be the big brother Kisa needed that his parents never let him be. He wanted to take care of her…But Onoki said it would be for the best if someone her age at least had guardians to look after her, besides he could always visit her anytime (that is SO not how it happened but that's what Onoki told him)

"Nii-san!"Kisa yelled hugging him and crying

"Don't worry! I'm still your big brother; it doesn't matter where we live un." He said wiping away the tears on her cheeks and standing up. "Goodbye, not forever!" He said smiling and he waved once more, before exiting the house of the couple who volunteered to take care of his sister.

The tall man closed the door so there was only dim lighting left in the room. He walked over to where Kisa was standing and rubbing her swollen eyes, and bent down on his knee so he was at her level. "Now, Kisa. You are not to go near that troublesome boy again. Do you hear me? I want you to forget about him. We are your family now."

It had been nearly two months after Deidara had started training with Onoki, and The Tsuchikage had to admit that he was extremely impressed with Deidara's skills to start with and that he thought he would go very far in the ninja world. So far he was spot on. Everything he told Deidara to do, no matter how complex, it soaked into Deidara's brain and he just did it. Ideally he was the perfect student. But lately he had been getting noticeably depressed. Also He wondered why Deidara always wore gloves and if he hurt himself he refused to allow anyone to treat him if the wound was on his hand or chest. Like he was hiding something. And Onoki wanted to find out.

"Deidara." He asked bluntly

"Un?" Deidara turned his head to face Onoki.

"Why do you always wear gloves and never let anyone treat your wounds?" To the point as always was Onoki

"Ummm…I have a rare skin disorder…yeah! Uh if I expose it to air my hand will fall off!"He added at the end to make it sound dramatic

'only an idiot would believe that ridiculous excuse…Now I'm REALLY curious…' Onoki thought to himself… "No really, take off your gloves." Onoki asked patiently

"NO un!" He replied, and crossed his arms defiantly.

"Off. NOW!"Onoki asked more irritated this time.

"no!" Deidara replied again

"That's it if you're not taking them off…I'LL TAKE THEM OFF FOR YOU!" He reached over and grabbed Deidara's hands and pulled on the gloves covering them.

"No!" Deidara said through tears this time.

"What's so bad that you can't tell me?" Onoki asked still pulling on them, but Deidara was not budging.

In one great tug of war match eventually Onoki got the upper hand and pulled the gloves off… Immediately Deidara hid his hands behind his back so the Tsuchikage didn't see them. Onoki grabbed both his arms and forced them to the front, and then Deidara gave up and put them in front of Onoki. It took approximately ten seconds for the Tsuchikage to notice the huge mouths in the middle of his palms. He had a feeling that this was the problem. He looked to Deidara's face, which was stained with tears.

"Go ahead! Lock me up! I read the forbidden scroll! I stole the villages forbidden kinjutsu…"He confessed dramatically

"When did you do it? Why?" Onoki asked out of curiosity, since he wasn't really mad. He did have a feeling this was the case.

"I broke into your office when I was five. Read the scroll and put it back before anyone ever knew.. And I did it because I wanted to become strong, so my parents would notice me, because I was lonely." He said quietly.

Onoki chuckled a little before placing a hand on Deidara's head "And you thought I'd lock you up for reading a scroll when you were five years old? God, that's just ridiculous…"He laughed

"You mean…You…Don't mind?" Deidara asked surprised.

"No of course not…It can't be undone now….You might as well use those hands for something. Try feeding them explosives."Onoki suggested.

It had been a few years since his parents died, and Deidara was now thirteen. He had become a genin ninja at age 9 after some intense training with the Tsuchikage…He had become a chuunin that year too, and he became a jonin at age 11. So he was now one of the strongest ninja in the village, at only age thirteen. Everything was fine in his life, except for his sister kisa. She and him still spoke but he was not allowed to speak to her around her 'guardians' who chose to take care of her, but in doing so he had been cut off from her almost completely. The only reason he hadn't spoken to the Tsuchikage about it was, because he knew that even though she wasn't able to speak to him anymore, he knew that she was being taken care of properly, and would probably end up very happy.

He believed that…Until one night

_8:00pm _

The night had started off pretty normally... he had eaten some cup ramen, in his small apartment (more like a damn storage cupboard), and sculpted for a while before accidentally falling asleep. He was surprised by the sudden knock at his door. He jolted awake and opened the door. Outside the door stood his acquaintance (not friend…too annoying to be a friend… Just an acquaintance) Kurotsuchi, wearing a very grim face. "You need to come with me. It's Kisa." She said. And with that He was off. As fast as he could, he followed Kurotsuchi to the other side of the village, which seemed deserted except quite a number of iwa ninja's bodies lay lying around on the ground (yes dead bodies. No that is NOT a normal occurrence…duh). What the hell was going on here?! All that he had to hear was the shrill but scarily familiar scream to understand. He ran further along the street, where he reached, in the middle of the road, basically ONE Sunagakure ninja… Yeah…he figured that that wasn't much of a threat.. Till he saw his little sister in a headlock with a sword held to her head. He also seemed to recognize the intruder ninja…Where from? Then he remembered. That was the man who volunteered as Kisa's guardian! He had been an intruder from Sunagakure this whole time! Right under our noses! And he had been taking care of Kisa all this time…That must be how he took her hostage. How could the Tsuchikage not know this?! Without warning the guy holding her up inching the sword to her head, so it was just scratching, not a deep wound. But the sight of Kisa's blood, woke Deidara up and he ran at the man holding his sister captive. The man pushed the sword straight into Kisa's head and her eyes widened as blood trickled down the side of her head. Even though he was completely free of chakra, since he had been training all day, and was almost out of energy, he kicked the man in the head without thinking. Unfortunately the intruder was a lot stronger than he was in his weakened state. The man dropped Kisa, who fell to the ground unmoving, though she was still alive, and punched Deidara's face so hard that he flipped over backwards and fell to the ground. No one else was there, as Kurotsuchi had gone to find the Tsuchikage to inform him of what was going on. Rubbing his cheek he sat up from the ground and got to his feet, while the man was still hovering around Kisa. Deidara ran forward at the man again, pulling out his last kunai (since he had used the rest in training) and stabbing the man straight through the heart.

"Too *cough* late..."The man coughed and spluttered before falling to the ground. What Deidara didn't realize was that the man had thrown his sword down so it stabbed Kisa right through the heart, just before he fell to the ground. Not knowing this he walked over to Kisa where she lay on the ground, with her back facing him, so he didn't see the petrified look on her pale, white face, which was getting paler and paler by the minute. "Kisa!" He yelled bending down and picking up the lifeless body of Kisa (not knowing she was dead yet) he took one look at the sword protruding from her chest and nearly dropped her. Her face was sickly pale, and her eyes were wide open, with diluted pupils. Tears beginning to fall from his eyes, he placed her gently back on the ground and closed her eyes, with his left hand. He fell to his knees next to Kisa's bloody body, and yelled out something while tears streamed down his face. He had no recollection as to how long he knelt by her lifeless body crying, but at least he did until the Tsuchikage arrived, because Kurotsuchi had a hard time finding him. When he arrived, he was shocked at the sight of the dead Kisa, and the utterly depressed Deidara… He almost didn't notice the body of the Sunagakure ninja that had killed Kisa. He didn't quite know what to do for a moment, but eventually walked towards his student and placed a hand on his shaking shoulder. Deidara turned his head to see the old man looking forlornly at him and the dead body of his little sister. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Eventually he said something…Something he NEVER meant to say… "I'm sorry. It's my fault. The real reason that Kisa was put in the care of guardians wasn't because she needed a better education, it was because everyone in the village saw you as unfit to be around her, in case you killed her, because they all thought that you killed your parents…I didn't really agree with them, but as a safety precaution, I put her in the care of those two guardians, they seemed like good honest people…I'm sorry. I know you never killed your parents, or at least not on purpose…You never deserved to be shunned by the whole village for a crime you didn't commit, but I never opposed them…Its all my fault…I'm sorry." He said, and instantly wished he hadn't, he planned on never telling Deidara that information, or admitting that he had agreed to the accusation that Deidara was a murderer. Deidara stared at him wide eyed for a few moments before inching backwards a little. Onoki grabbed Deidara's arm, but he yanked it away, and stood up. He stood staring at Onoki scardely for a moment before, turning around and running. He had no idea where he was running to, but he was running somewhere. Very fast… He wanted to get away from the village. He didn't want to think about all the people there anymore. He hated them. He hated them all. But he mostly hated the Tsuchikage. Why? He should have just told the truth from the start. He was at the gate of the village, which meant that he was almost out of the village. If he left the territory of the land of earth, he would be branded a rogue ninja, or a missing-nin. He didn't care. He took the headband that rested on his forehead off. On the front it bore the village symbol for iwagakure. He got the kunai (the one he stabbed that man with, he picked it up afterwards) out of his pocket and scratched a huge line through the symbol. He almost threw it away, but he decided that he would probably need it at some point, so he kept it. He took a deep breath and took one step out of the village, and before him Kurotsuchi appeared. She looked pretty depressed. "Don't go! The village needs you!" She yelled at him.

"What has 'the village' ever done for me un?" He questioned

She didn't answer but looked away. "Then don't forget us when you go..."She said before throwing her arms around him "You were a good friend."

"Kurotsuchi…You can use the mind wipe technique right?" he asked as she let go and was about to walk back to the village.

She didn't turn around but replied "Yes…"

"Please…Wipe out my memories of Kisa…"He said with a tear rolling down his cheek.

She turned her head when he said this "What?! Are you sure? She's your sister! You want to forget all about her!"

"Just make me forget her after the accident…"He replied trying to keep a straight face.

Kurotsuchi just nodded, and stepped forward to him. She created a small ball of purple chakra at the tip of one finger. She reached her hand to his forehead and poked him on the head with the finger that was charged with chakra. He closed his eyes and stood for a while. When he opened them, Kurotsuchi was gone and he could no longer remember Kisa, after the accident whatsoever.

He remembered though that he wanted to get away from that village forever. And so he began walking…Walking away from the village, towards the sun, because he had nothing better to follow and didn't really know his way around anywhere.

A few weeks later he built a base for himself, and became a terrorist bomber. Taking orders from basically anyone. He was doing pretty well, making quite a lot of money. Then one day he had three unexpected visitors. That's when he saw the red clouds on the cloaks…


End file.
